12 Weeks and counting

my pregnancy belly

I am not going to post anything interesting today which isn’t saying much because I haven’t posted for quite some time now.

I have been on ‘forced’ (but not resented) bed rest for the past 8 (or 9?) weeks. I didn’t get in an accident but I did get knocked up (insert applause here)! I have a history of miscarriages (3.5 episodes in less than two years, 0.5 being a blighted ovum, none of which made it past the 10th week), so as soon as I felt pregnant, I decided for myself to not stress out. My paranoia was pretty much strengthened when I went for an ultrasound at 9 weeks and they found perisac hemorrhage around my placenta. I was advised to NOT DO ANYTHING AT ALL- that is to lie down the entire day, no sitting up for more than 30 minutes, no showers…

Being on bed rest has its perks. You are excused from housework and people seek to take care of you. But that’s just about it. I feel sorry for DH who has to do everything by himself, including the laundry, the cooking, cleaning and even transferring the video files to the hard disk so I can watch them on our TV. I miss taking care of him. And the worst part is I can’t even “repay” him (if you know what I mean). I miss going to the grocery and picking out the food I want to eat. I miss eating a burger at the mall. There are so many days when I see strands of my hair on the floor, or the layer of dust on top of the TV has become too thick to ignore or the bed sheets just need to be straightened, but I can’t do anything about it because I am not allowed to…

It gets frustrating to be this helpless. It is nothing compared to my last operation because right now my faculties are in perfect condition (not really perfect but they work and nothing is in a cast)…

But I determined myself to get through it and to soar above all tribulations because I believe (and my husband supports me) that it will be worth it… 🙂

Checkups for me have become a traumatic experience in the past. With my previous pregnancies, the second or third checkup is usually filled with bad news… the doctor would not be smiling and would be awfully quiet, nothing is moving in the monitor and I will be choking on my tears.

But so far, with this one, I have been hearing her heartbeat every time (4 so far)… And I realized that all this bed rest was worth it when I saw my baby jump during my checkup last night. It was a hyper little booger showing off to her mommy with a heart beating strong…

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